Find Your Self

Like the little Thumbelina, gently enclosed within the velvety fragrant, brilliantly hued petals, she hides. Her light can barely be seen… a glimmering here, a ray there, but she is shy and scared to let her light shine on the world. Do not cast pearls before swine, she remembers, for then they are despoiled - wasted. Now and then, her sparkly magic alights on another and they feel her warmth and special human quality – her compassion and loving-kindness. There are some who can see. They know her. Their generosity of spirit and gentleness of human condition, remind her and try to coax her out, so that her beauty can be seen, appreciated, admired and shared. Self-doubt, however, after years of external conditioning, harsh criticism, blatant neglect and being ignored – disregarded – the lesson of negativity having been internalized, muddy the waters so that little reflection can be seen. That little sprite sits forlornly, alone. What reflection is noted, shows a dejected figure filled with gloom and hiding in a safe place. The world out there can be a dangerous place

Allow her to shine in all her beauty. As the outer beauty fades, the inner beauty grows, but now feels caged, like a big cat in captivity. Pacing… pacing… release the tiger… or is it a pussycat? Allow that spirit to shine fully, unhindered, in all its blinding light, so that perhaps, others need to shield their eyes as to the brilliance – bounding waves of light rolling outward, wave after wave, washing away darkness and advancing to dim recesses, dark cracks and blind alleys, exposing all. Allow that inner power to explode, unleashed, in all its awesome force, or escaping slowly, like silk caressing, beckoning, fluttering gently when moved by the wind.

Let that light shine upon your face and the faces of others - beaming. That is a radiant being. "You will be AMAZED at who you really are." The constant battle wages within, between mind and soul, mind and body, wrestling with one another like Jacob and the Angel with constant supplication for mercy. Have I been so bad then? Perhaps not. Perhaps it is I, myself, who constantly puts obstacles in my own path, not wholly dissimilar to Sisyphus' eternal punishment! Release it and let it go. Take that burden off your own back. Set it down and stand up, look about you and breathe deep, filling your lungs to the very bottom with life-sustaining oxygen. Exhale, slowly and fully. Set your burdens aside and do not pick them up again.

My Self, however, seems silent and I strain to hear. Attune my ear? She needs a voice, let her have her voice. Speak up, Self, speak up so that all can hear you loud and clear. Let the full vibrations of your voice be clearly heard. Allow the colors of the emotions that make you sing, be seen. Allow the tumbling of your laugh to wash over others, like crystal water bouncing off pebbles and rocks as it makes its way downstream – perhaps the sound of silver bells tinkling, followed by a gusty laugh that bubble up from deep within. Hear the sound resound fully in its tone, light and color and see it bounce off or be absorbed by that which it encounters and resonates with or falls upon deaf ears.

Pluck and tune each string like a master musician, so that the chords issuing therefrom, create harmonies that delight the ear. Allow the refining of cells that smooth the countenance like the brushstrokes of a master artist. Find your own healing and trust that which is. Then put your foot upon the path of life even though it is not clearly delineated, and take that leap of faith yet again. Remember that the invisible hand holds you still and do not let go, lest you fall by the wayside. Feel the vibrations as each foot steps carefully. Take care of things you take within the self, for each has an effect. Be kind to you - kind and gentle. Avoid harshness and rancor. Be still, so that you can hear more clearly. Go with peace and mind your tongue, turning your eye inward to shepherd your thoughts. Corral them gently, each in the right place, and herd some of those into a shed, to sleep for the long night. Perhaps some of those should no longer see the light of day, but slumber on, to be forgotten and no longer encountered. Those which do not serve - do not feed - let them go! Pay more attention to those that are deserving, but who determines that? You do! When you pay attention, you shall know.